Morning Light
By Armando Ortiz
You became the dream unfulfilled,
a drifting mist from the coast
that dissipates into the summer heat,
after I shared with you my secrets.
You were the calming white roar of the Pacific
when we slept by each other’s side.
We were not meant to walk together
along the beach, holding hands.
I didn’t roll up my jeans- knee high,
nor did your clothes get wet.
We didn’t get splashed by ocean foam
or feel ourselves sink into the sand
following the egret that walked ahead.
We just held hands
during a late summer day
and under a yellow maple tree
is where we kissed the first time.
We pressed against each other
giving comfort to ourselves,
while the sun set
west of the Verdugo Mountains.
I held you tight,
you bit my shoulder,
we didn’t declare our love,
but rode the waves of passion.
Like running water,
flowing into a precipice,
our wills were caught up
in the rush of desire.
You allowed me to taste
the saltiness of your skin
and to nibble the left earlobe,
our bodies flowed into disaster.
A magnetic water fall
we floated in mid air
falling into an abyss
of unknown experience.
You accused me of selfishness
after I told you my forgotten truths.
With you, I grew, and became
conscious of my foolishness.
You might have loved me once,
but your warmth is with me forever,
I harness that memory with these words
hoping that we both remember.
What I did was unforgivable
and only once did I try to apologize,
not daring to try again
instead, I meditated on that dying ember.
Later I was crushed by remorse
and questioned my sanity,
forgiveness from you is unattainable,
nor is the love of the Virgin Mary.
I awake from this illusion,
you are forever gone,
lost in a collection of memories,
you regret and despise having met.
Walking back to my car that night
left me void of emotions and sight,
I drove through the darkness of night,
till the break of day gave a shimmer of light.
Although we are now apart
maybe this apology
one day finds
a place in your heart.
