Morning Light

Morning Light

By Armando Ortiz

You became the dream unfulfilled,

a drifting mist from the coast

that dissipates into the summer heat,

after I shared with you my secrets.

You were the calming white roar of the Pacific

when we slept by each other’s side.

We were not meant to walk together

along the beach, holding hands.

I didn’t roll up my jeans- knee high,

nor did your clothes get wet.

We didn’t get splashed by ocean foam

or feel ourselves sink into the sand

following the egret that walked ahead.

We just held hands

during a late summer day

and under a yellow maple tree

is where we kissed the first time.

We pressed against each other

giving comfort to ourselves,

while the sun set

west of the Verdugo Mountains.

I held you tight,

you bit my shoulder,

we didn’t declare our love,

but rode the waves of passion.

Like running water,

flowing into a precipice,

our wills were caught up

in the rush of desire.

You allowed me to taste

the saltiness of your skin

and to nibble the left earlobe,

our bodies flowed into disaster.

A magnetic water fall

we floated in mid air

falling into an abyss

of unknown experience.

You accused me of selfishness

after I told you my forgotten truths.

With you, I grew, and became

conscious of my foolishness.

You might have loved me once,

but your warmth is with me forever,

I harness that memory with these words

hoping that we both remember.

What I did was unforgivable

and only once did I try to apologize,

not daring to try again

instead, I meditated on that dying ember.

Later I was crushed by remorse

and questioned my sanity,

forgiveness from you is unattainable,

nor is the love of the Virgin Mary.

I awake from this illusion,

you are forever gone,

lost in a collection of memories,

you regret and despise having met.

Walking back to my car that night

left me void of emotions and sight,

I drove through the darkness of night,

till the break of day gave a shimmer of light.

Although we are now apart

maybe this apology

one day finds

a place in your heart.