A Drive to the Coast, Part 4

Part 4: Splitting of Electrons

by Armando Ortiz

All you get is the splitting of electrons. That is what she said after I told her what it was that I was seeing and feeling. I had been tripping pretty hard that day and the world that existed outside of me came in to focus. I had been aware of the world that I live in and the daily transactions that take place with others. However, on this particular day things changed, as if my entire world had been lifted up and taken up to outer space, where gravity is less stable, and things tend to have a mind of their own. I was about to step out of my capsule and out into unknown territory, and all communication would be unstable. I could see far into the horizon and spot the different layers of movement and people that were going hither and thither. From a distance I could see people pass bye and at times saw the tops of their cars, and at other times I saw people on platforms just enjoying the whole view of the festival taking place. I was at the center of all the chaos that was taking place. Everything was happening before me and around me. I realized that all that was outside was a sort of organized chaos, but I was the center and the central spoke of the center was I. My thoughts were in a state of chaos. The Chaos was somehow hyperbolically connected to the world at large like a chariot perpetually racing competitors inside a hippodrome of consciousness. A silent static took precedence between thoughts and the rest of my physical self.

She’d been listening to me talk, and at times turned away to look at all that was happening down the slope, occasionally spotting random decorated bicycles.

Then she said, “Well, after all that, all you have is the splitting of electrons.”

I gave out a loud laugh, “Hahahaha…” it really shocked me, but it made sense, because at the molecular level there were electrons splitting and connecting to other things.

“What we all are is mostly space and water, even though we don’t perceive that reality,” she said, “It truly is a miracle that we just don’t dissolve into nothingness.”

“What is that thing that keeps it all running? God? A spirit? An electrical charge? Air pressure?” I asked with a sense of desperation, “Is nature outside of this chaos? Is nature chaos by nature? Does this mean that our bodies are of nature, but we turn around and look at it in a weird way of chaos.”

Chaos……living in the city one experiences organized chaos, but in nature, one sees the multiplicity of nature’s wonders, an organization that seems to have equilibrium and symbiosis. We see the different animals, the trees, the ocean, the insects, the mammals, the birds, the snakes, and the grounds they slither on. There is so much more, so much of what we call wild and why do we call it wild? Why is it that humans have a desire to “tame” nature, just like we like to enslave others, conquer and dominate others. Nature does not do that, right? Is there love in nature? Our cities become representative of what we deem as natural. The slums, the desperation for survival, the constant up and down driving, the mechanized sounds of metal against metal, and the tall buildings that look offensive when compared to the distant backdrop of the Azusa Mountains. All we have are splitting of electrons, atoms that go round and round, like all that exists outside ourselves. The universe and other galaxies seem to go round and round with no perceived ending to all the life cycles out there. The cycles of time devour everything, and in the end, there all that is left are splitting of electrons.